Mother’s Day is for all of us. Take a few minutes and absorb the joy of life and love between you and the greatest person in your life. It’s a special day to express gratitude for all that Mother is doing – memories that will last long after she lets go. A special time to remember all the day to day things Mom has done, said, advice that was given, for putting our needs before her own and other countless sacrifices, for introducing us to God and praying for us, for lessons taught and how we were taken care of and loved no matter what. I am grateful for women who have hoped, prayed and worked to make a difference in our lives and inspired us to do our best. How often have you heard your mother say, “You’ll understand one day”?
We live in a world where we sometime don’t realize how hurtful our words can be. Yet mothers are the women who puts up with crap no matter the arguments or disagreements or the mistakes we make and in spite of open defiance, sly disrespecting comments, puffed up thoughts and insulting attitudes.
Two days ago, I didn’t expect to get emotionally ambushed when I walked into the card section of the store celebrating the third biggest retail holiday with a sign that read, “Mother’s Day” – my first without mom. The section where I have spent so much time selecting balloons, flowers, or a special message. Yet, even though it was a bittersweet visit I picked up a card with beautiful words reminding me of her and the many times she had my back. It was perfect for adding to my drawer of many other memories including cards I had received from her addressed “Happy Mother’s Day Daughter”. It was an emotional explosion and man did it hurt, but I got through it remembering how special it felt to be loved by mom, my friend, my mentor, my go to girl, my rock.
I feel blessed to have had my mother for 97 years and to be there during her last ten years of illness, to take care of her at home that she would feel secure and never have to live in an unfamiliar place surrounded by unfamiliar people. Alzheimer is a horrible disease. Being blessed to care for her with tiny touches of affection was one of the most precious gifts I have ever received. Yet, many times since she passed away on February 13, 2018, I have wished I could do one do-over while we were both in a good place in our lives, before her memory loss and I could ask her questions about family history, photographs or spend more time with her while she had more answers to give. Just one do-over before she was robbed of her humour and kind hearted personality. Alz robbed my mother of knowing how we were connected but never our need for connection and that our love run deep. Throughout the process of the illness she continued to show love in her eyes and speak it in her smile until she was no longer here.
I have found it to be true, it is impossible to understand what one experiences alter losing a mother until it happens to you. If you still have your mom call her right now or make a special trip to give her a hug. Spend time with her. Tell her she is your hero and nothing can replace the space she has in your heart. She deserves it. “A mom’s hug lasts long after she lets go.” ~ Unknown
Mothering isn’t just about taking care of her family and children. She spends years making sure that everyone will be okay when she is no longer around. She knows you better than you know yourself, senses your pain and can read your mind even when you are silent. Nothing is as valuable as her presence. Somewhere between the times she brought you into the world and far into your adult years until she leave, you know a few things because you learned few things from her that prepared and made you a little bit more okay.
This is written especially for those who have loved and lost their mother to death whose tears still well up in their eyes when speaking of their mom. May you continue savoring your mama’s influence on your life and the memories you have of her. I hope I have shared something to lift you up. If you would like to share your thoughts please do. Thank you for reading.